I have insomnia and my depression is always here everyday late at night and my drunk mother just came in my hotel room smelling of alcohol while half naked from trying to use the restroom talking about d-day and how this is my day as my dad tries to stop her and take her back to her room all while telling me not to look and apologizing and I think she’s crying now and I feel sick and sad and depressed and I thought about jumping out that hotel window but I’ll probably regret it because thanksgiving is tomorrow and I’m homesick now because i’ve been trying to sleep since 11:00 and it’s 2:06 right now and I might look back on this and say “hey that was a rant from one of my worst vacations I ever had” all while being happy and thinking that this depression I had wasn’t so bad and then it’ll be far later than that and I’ll say again “oh hey I feel like that again” because I don’t like this feeling and I still have so much work to do and everything sucks and I can’t sleep so I’m just in prison with my awake mind AND IT FUCKING SUCKS WHY CANT SOMEONE JUST HELP ME OUT WITH THIS AND KILL ME OR SOMETHING WHY CANT I DIE WHY IS MY FAMILY FUCKED WHY AM I HOMESICK WHY DO MY COUSINS HATE ME WHY DOES NO ONE RESPECT ME WHY CANT I SLEEP WHY DO MY FRIENDS HAVE TO BE SAD AND FUCKED UP why.. Why do I try to be normal and idk.. My bad guys I just had a change of mood and now that I look at this rant it looks so dumb but I might as well post it so you know what my thoughts were 5 mins ago from the start of what I was writing but I feel better now… It’s 2:15 by the way